Monthly Archives: February 2016

The Things You Learn

I have a really obnoxious coworker. We are theoretically equal but he has long tenure, and management has a high opinion of at least some aspects of his performance.

He behaves normally the majority of the time, and is friendly sometimes, but has a bad temper and loses it when small things don’t go his way. He never tells me what he’s doing, or tells me what he wants me to do, and I’m afraid to ask a lot of the time. It’s not so much that he gets angry, but that he is contemptuously angry, like I was some kind of idiot, which I humbly say I’m not.

I addressed this obliquely with my boss, who told me yes he was a little strange but did a great job. I addressed this more directly with my boss, who told me I already to you he was a little strange, and I took the hint to drop the matter.

My brother has better understanding of people than I do, and he told me the guy probably had some protector, maybe some client of the company who wanted him to work there, and that’s why his bad behavior was tolerated. This made sense to me.

Then I do something the coworker asked me, but not exactly as he wanted it, although he didn’t tell me exactly how he wanted it. He told me he couldn’t believe I screwed this one simple thing up, and I told him him he needed to calm down. A few more heated words were exchanged but for a while he did calm down.

But he keeps doing it. And I don’t want to deal with him, but I have to so I talk to him a little later and he acts like everything is normal.

Is he embarrassed by his behavior? Or he considers it normal so that’s why it isn’t an issue later? I can’t say. I suspect his dad was a dick, and he gets the behavior by modeling or genetics. I think this is true of a lot of men.

Anyway I decided I can’t do anything about it, I have been told all but explicitly to put up with it, and I don’t want to look for another job right now so I’m going to just ignore it. And heap burning coals on his head, if he is in fact embarrassed by his behavior.

At this point, I had an intuition. His protector is not some client, or the owner, but my boss himself. He started about the time our immediate supervisor took on his position, which involves hiring. I don’t know what exactly the deal is but for some reason our boss wants him to work there, and I know he has at least one skeleton in his closet that limits his employment opportunities, and maybe he has more. The owner has made effusive praise of him to me- in front of him- so the owner likes him, but I still think the supervisor is his sponsor.

I think accepting the reality of the situation and the need and value of taking Paul’s recommendation got me the insight I needed. The guy is a pain in the ass, but he can’t hurt me, as long as I ignore his childish outbursts. Is this a God-given insight? I think so, but maybe that’s just my mischievous pneumatology.


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Michelangelo and Charlie Sheen

Going to museums is a nice activity for family visits, so I have found myself appreciating art with my sister a few times.

Once we were at an exhibition of Asian art. My sister objected to the portrayal of breasts, perfectly round and pert ones. That’s not what they look like, she said. Maybe not, I thought, but that’s what men would like them to look like. Centuries later the silicon breast implant was created to realize the dream of these artists.

Another time we were viewing a display of drawings by Michelangelo, and she raised the same objection. This time I said “I don’t think Michelangelo ever actually saw a real breasts.” He must have, she said. “I’m pretty sure he was gay” I responded.

Indeed he appears to have been. He wrote love poetry to one of his artist’s models. He seems to have been enamored of at least one other. In his old age he had a relationship with a widow with whom he exchanged love poetry, but it never went past kissing her hand.

He seems never to have acted on any of these impulses though. He lived very ascetically and devoted himself to his art. It’s not like anything was stopping him- he was living in a Roman Catholic society, but this was Italy, not Ireland or Spain, and I’m sure nobody would have cared. He was a rich, famous artist and that’s all anyone really cared about.

In modern times we have Charlie Sheen. We learned recently that he is infected with HIV. Forty years ago nobody knew what this was, but once the virus was discovered avoiding HIV infection is simple by taking certain precautions.

Charlie however was going full speed ahead. He is very handsome, very rich, very famous, and very charismatic. So if he wants to have sex, he’s got people lined up around the block. He doesn’t need to pay for it, but he has, I guess to make the process just a little bit easier. He was not screening for anything but excitement, and not “taking precautions”, or “practicing safe sex”, as they say.

It’s easy to say he was a crazed sex addict, or a man-slut, but would you do the same thing if you were in his position? I can’t say I wouldn’t. It’s pretty much every man’s dream, from the day you notice the girls in school are starting to stick out in certain places. Most guys get a rude awakening of their place in what the pick-up artists call the “sexual marketplace” which is to say the girl you want to exchange bodily fluids with isn’t going for it, at least not without a lot of work.

I don’t think Charlie Sheen ever had any rude awakening. I think got all the sexual activity he wanted from the day he wanted it. He saw every reason to say yes and no reason to say no. Sheen didn’t live in a Catholic society, but he lived in Catholic home, so it’s not like he was totally unfamiliar with the idea of sexual restraint.

So one man did, and one man didn’t. Sheen’s logic is much easier to see. Other than getting HIV- which is pretty bad, actually, even with modern drugs- he had a great time, we are supposed to think. It sounds to me though that he got to the point where it wasn’t a good time, he was just frantically addicted and needed to have three porn stars and two hookers waiting so he could be sure there was one he could get it up for.

Sex addiction on this level is hard to achieve. Addiction to other things is a lot easier and rampant in the US. It takes a while to get addicted though. The user starts out saying “I can do this, or not do this” and decides to do it.

So why did Michelangelo not do it? I think whatever made him a great artist made him want to preserve his mind and his heart for his art, and not expend them in ultimately empty sexual activity.

The current belief, understood as scientific truth by progressives, is that sex is a basic bodily function that must be exercised for physical health and mental well-being. I’m not sure where this comes from, maybe Wilhelm Reich but I don’t know for sure. In this view expecting people not to act on their sexual urges is simply cruel and heartless.

The problem with this is it is impossible for all your sexual urges to be satisfied. If you are single, you will want to find someone to have sex with. This won’t be ideal- no matter who you have- so you will look for something else. Eventually you may get married, and then you will want to have sex with someone besides your spouse. You can commit adultery or get divorced, but the problem continues.

Our society has long been bourgeois enough that a good marriage- even for gays, now!- has been thought to solve all sexual problems. The Victorian home was thought to be a solution to the licentiousness of Regency England. But there is no solution. You can, if you have the resources, go Charlie Sheen, but even that is not a solution.

Hedonism is going to blow up in your face. But we live in a society that not only gives you no reason to say no, it says you have to say yes.

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